Where Am I Heading?

I Always Wonder...
Am I A Stranger...
Think This World As A Blunder...

I really don't know why did I start this blog? I question myself if there is any purpose or motive behind this thought? but I don't get any answer for this.

I just use this to express my thoughts. I usually express my thoughts through Kannada Poems and Short Stories or through Urdu Shayaris, but now I have got another medium i.e. Blog, where my articles are assessed. To be honest, I started this blog with an uncertainty because of my vocabulary and grammar, they were acting like my hindrance. I motivated myself that creativity has no hindrance or barriers, then I decided to come up with this blog. I believe in learning from my own mistakes, so I know this blog will definitely help me. But where am I heading.....? through this blog, it still remains a mystery in my mind.

Now let me come to the topic and let me come to my own life. I have read hell like articles on life but this article is unique as it deals with me. I never read but felt in my 26 years of journey through life.

My friend Vinay was talking about the uncertainty of life, that was the moment when I decided that I will write about this as it was a thought which was bothering me.

I think the journey of my life started from the womb and I know it will end up in ashes so I wont bother about start and end, but the real mystery is the journey between them.

I don't know where this journey is leading me and I don't know why am I so proud to be born as a human.
I don't know where my life is leading me and I don't know why am I striving to find all the comforts.
I am just following a light of hope which is deliberately pushing me to the grave. Even though I know the end point and even though I know I will make it, then Why am I so passionate about the journey? Is it really worth being that? The first thing which was decided on the day I was born was my death. My countdown has started and I am just running my league.

I get disturbed when I see few people who have dedicated their life to God. I don't believe on the things which I see but these people have strong faith on an unseen God. Wow that is really fantastic. What made them to take such a decision? What are they searching for? Where are they heading? my mind becomes inquisitive.

What made Buddha to leave all his comforts and worldly pleasures and go in search of life. I was really stunned when I read about Bahubali, what made him to sacrifice everything and become Gomateshwara. What made him to stand naked. Was it a same question which is bothering me? If so, then I am sorry I don't have that guts to sacrifice everything and stand naked. But still the question haunts me everytime.

Emotions, feelings, bonds, relations, materials, everything, do they have their own roles to be played in my journey to ashes. I don't know but I need everything. I cant be Buddha or Gomateshwara because I am so much into this worldly things that I cannot escape from the clutches of life.

Life is full of uncertainty but even then I plan to lead my life in my own way, even though I don't know what will happen in the next moment. Is it really worth to plan? but I do it with the hope, faith and expectations.

Now this life has given a meaning to me to prove what I am? in my own ways. I need all the comforts. I enjoy relationships. I am possessive even though I know that I will not be bonded to it till the eternity. But still I live.

As I know the end point let me make my journey worth so that I can celebrate my last. I have made up my mind that I have born to serve some purpose and the purpose will be created through different circumstances of life. I am just playing my part.
I have convinced myself that not to be bothered about life and about its uncertainty. Life has its own role and I have my own.

Death is my Destination...
Life is just a Journey...
But even then sometimes I still wonder...... Where Am I Heading?