hari dont worry

L O S T

2009-07-16T00:55:00.000-07:00

Here I Am, In This Path,

I Am Some One, I Am None,

I Am Alone.

I Am Not Yet Dead,

I Am Not Yet Buried Or Burnt Yet,

I May Be Lost In Life,

But Someday I Will Be Found.

Why I Love You So Much?

2009-07-10T00:25:00.000-07:00

When I was born my mother was the first to kiss me on my forehead.
My dad was the first who took me in his hands and made me feel secure and warm.
When I was one year old my mother was the one who understood my alien language and fed me with food and love.
My dad was the one who took me ride in his bike and got me chocolates.
Whenever I got less chocolates my sister was the one who shared her chocolates with me.
Whenever I was hungry or sick my sister was the one who nourished me like my mother with her care and concern.
My grandmother was the one who always made me to sleep on her laps and narrated the stories of princes and kings.
My grandfather was the one who took me to evening walk and got whatever I asked.
My dad taught me to ride cycle.
When I lost the first cricket match it was my dad who filled confidence in me.
My mother taught me to win no matter if it was a match on life.
Whenever i skinned my knees and came home crying my mom used to cry with me and my dad used to bandage my knee.
My teachers and lecturers were responsible for me to think bigger and higher in life.
Whenever I lost battle of life it was my friends who supported me.
Friends were the one who laughed in joy, cried in sorrow with me.
Whenever I needed a shoulder to cry my friends were the one who lend their shoulders and brought back the smile on my face.
My friends were the one who were with me in my failure and success.
My Parents, My Family, My Teachers, My Friends were the one who were with me all the time throughout my life.

I Love Them All.
But.....
Why I Love You???? So much

Gorky On Celluloind

2009-05-23T04:53:00.000-07:00

An article by Muralidhar Khajane, which appeared in today's (21st May 2009) issue of The Hindu.

GangwayZ, a group of youngsters from Mysore, has produced a 130-minute Kannada feature film Jaaga Doreyutthade (or Spaces for rent (sfr)), based on Maxim Gorky’s play The Lower Depths.

The director of the film, N.S. Islahuddin, is a gold medalist in Journalism from the University of Mysore and has a Masters degree in Media Production from the University of Sunderland, England. “I have made sincere efforts to contemporise the play in the background of economic slowdown,” says 27-year old Islahuddin.

On the adaptation of The Lower Depths, he says as a student he was impressed by its content and when he decided to direct a film, the play came as a natural choice for adaptation. “Of course adapting the play to the present scenario is quite a challenging task. Bringing the modern day elements, while retaining the essence of the original play, is not easy. Jaaga Doreyuttade is set against the backdrop of recession and panic related to it and so needed a completely new treatement,” he says.

Islahuddin describes the experiment as “community or cooperative film making”. He speaks of the difficulty they faced when a person who had promised them financial support could not do so following which the group members themselves pitched in their resources to complete the film.
The group adapted various strategies to bring down the production cost. The team members decided to shoot the film in an empty house that belongs to one of the group members. Art director Badal Nanjunadswamy remodelled the house to suit to the needs of script. The entire film is shot in a house. To meet the requirements of the camera and lighting, Shivashankar and James Mani and their team made the best possible use of basics provided. As the cast needed actors in the age group of 20 and 27, those from the group who fit the bill were retained and the the rest of the members were involved in production.

Theatre director C. Basavalingaiah is making a comeback as an actor after 20 years with this film. “However, this film is a litmus test for the actors who have to do justice to the characters they play,” says Islahuddin.

Will GangwayZ be able to create space for itself in the film world remains to be seen. The film will be screened in Mysore from June 6th and then it will be screened in all other places across the State.

That Night !

2009-05-13T01:44:00.000-07:00

They say "Failure is the first step of success", but in my case failure became not only the first but also the last step.

My dreams were shattered, I lost hope in life. My life was hell. Failure was sucking me down into abyss. There was no light except darkness. Downfall became habit. I was good for nothing. I feared of going to sunlight as my shadow also started hating me. I was alone. I was insane.

That night I came home late, my family was out of station and I was alone. I prepared food and ate nicely since starving was killing me from the morning. I was watching tv then suddenly heavy wind started blowing, lightening was continuous with thunder. Rain started to make the atmosphere cool which was hot because of me throwing out the bitterness of frustration on life. That was the time for electricity company to save electricity. I was dumped in darkness as my life was roaming in kalahari desert with no hopes of oasis. I sat on my bed and started throwing light to the darker side of my past. My eyes were red bleeding tears.

Fear is the first face of darkness. Fear of failures made me brave to end my life. My will of committing suicide became stronger and stronger. I had lost hopes on myself, it made easy for my mind that surrendered itself for this single thought.

I dragged the table into the centre and under the fan. I tied a bedsheet to the fan. I kept the stool on the table. I sat on the stool to make my last wish. I prayed for my family and friends . My heart became numb. My lips were dry. My eyes became bright. My body became cold.
For the last time I closed my eyes and remembered my parents friends and all the good things of my life. I stood on the table and was about to give my neck to the claws of death.

Suddenly, I heard a voice of female outside who was calling my name. I was shocked, in a fraction of second I came to reality. I was afraid. I rearranged the table and the stool. I removed the bedsheet and hurried to see who it was. I went near the window it wa very dark outside and she was drenched in rain. I recognized her as she lived beside my house. I opened the lock of the door, went out and asked the reason. She told that she had a fight with her husband on the issue of drinking and now he has locked himself in the room.

A thought striked me like a lightening. I hurried to her house, banged the door of his room. He was not opening the door nor was answering me. I tried asking that lady but she was dumb and motionless. I ran to the opposite house to get some help. Another guy came and we both used our power to open the door. The door was opened but the guy inside was almost knocking the doors of death. I held his leg and the other guy removed the bedsheet from the neck. We made him lie down. The lady was very grateful for us. Even my heart was filled with gratitude towards her but I could not express it.

I came home searched the dustbin, I got half a cigarette which was smoked last night. I lighted it and was cursing myself for being so coward. Now the man who tried committing suicide never speaks to me face to face. And I cannot face myself in front of the mirror.

The one thing which bothered me alot was how a death came to rescue me from committing suicide. That incident remained a mystery forever as it did not answered any of my questions except it made me enlightened.

Even now I am climbing the steps of failure but I know that this time the last step is mine i.e., success.

First KISS :-)

2009-05-05T23:44:00.000-07:00

While I was coming to Rangayana to meet her I took a Rose as I love that a lot. It was a long time since I met her. My waiting was ended as she rode into the gates of Rangayana. My wish was fulfilled as I saw her face, she was as usual, very beautiful. The most attractive thing was her eyes which can see through the soul.

I sat behind her and told her to drive for a restaurant. Sitting behind her was like heaven. I was intoxicated by her body odour. Her curly hairs were mesmerising as they were flying on my face. She took 15 minutes to reach the restaurant but I felt I was there within no time. Whenever I sat behind her I have forgotten the whole world. Except her the whole world looked blur to me.

We reached Nalpak restaurant and had our lunch. I asked her for a long drive but she did not agree as she had to go home. I promised her that we will be back in an hour. It took hell like effort to convince her and at last she agreed. I was very happy as my dream was coming true.

I rode her bike and filled the fuel. She was very much eager to know the place I am driving, but I wanted that to be a suspense and I maintained it as a secret for some time. She got very angry for that and was carrying tons of anger on her cute little nose, but within no time her anger was down by few romantic words of mine.

I turned the bike towards Chamundi hill and the secret of our destination was revealed. There is a place near Nandi hill where you can see the whole of Mysore but uninhabited. This is my favourite spot as I go there whenever I am sad or happy to be in solitude from the world.

I wanted my best moment of my life to be spent there with her. She was shocked as I stopped there where there was no one around. I stood on the compound and she sat. I told her that I have a suspense for her. She was very much anxious and was forcing me to tell but I was thinking that how to bring my imagination into the reality. I thought for half an hour but could not find any solution. She was continuously forcing me. She talks a lot but its always sweet to hear her voice. I jumped from the compound and started roaming here and there thinking. She warned me that if I wont end the suspense she would leave. At last lightening strike me and I got the solution to put my imagination into the actions.

I asked for 5 minutes to express. She was so curious that she started a stopwatch in her mobile. There was complete silence everywhere. I could hear the wind blowing and horns of some vehicles far somewhere.

The time was running out and only 30 seconds were left. The hot wind of afternoon became colder and colder. Suddenly I was on my knees and took the rose from my bag. It was red as it was soaked in my blood which runs through my veins in search of her love. My whole body was shivering but my hand was firm which was holding the rose.

I - I LOVE YOU...
SHE - THANK YOU, YOU HAVE TOLD ME THIS MILLIONS OF TIME...

The whole world seemed to me in a slow motion. Suddenly I took her right foot on my knees. I rubbed it and kissed her foot. My dried lips tried to make an impression on her foot but it was soon wiped out by few drops of tears which fell from my eyes on her foot.

Who Sins Most???

2009-03-04T00:52:00.000-08:00

A breakup needs sometime to come out of it. This was the last conversation with the woman who was with her child in a shopping mall.

Coming out of mall, after a deep frustration of meeting ex girlfriend made my mood more worse than that of a chilling night of December. My legs were on its own speed and was against the cold breeze which was blowing. Wandering legs roamed around for two hours till my eyesight was caught by a zero candle bulb which was on the top of the door of an unknown pub. At last my wandering legs got their destination.

There was a lonely table in the corner with two chairs, which was more similar like me. I sat on that chair and took a pack of cigarette and started to make the environment more dull with the smoke. The frustrated mind was relaxing but suddenly a voice interrupted asking for the order. The cigarette got its way into the ash tray and order was placed for a bottle of whisky with some ice cubes.

LOVE ME LOVE ME DO.... This was the song in the background which was making my mood more high. Instead of smoke my head was relaxed on the table.

SOMEWHERE IN MY HEART, BENEATH ALL THE PLEASURES I HAVE, BEHIND THIS SMILING FACE, THERE IS A LONELY THOUGHT WHICH IS WANDERING ALL OVER MY MIND AND THATS U......

After sometime my order was on my table.The bottle was opened and whisky was poured to the glass which already had few ice cubes. Mind took a ride of good old days and whisky was bottoms up.

The loneliness was ended by a sweet female voice " Can I have a seat here"
"No... I need to be alone" was the reply. " Even I want to be alone but there is no place around" I nodded my head as Yes. Waiter came with another glass thinking she was with me. I went to stop him but she held my hand and I was quite.

She asked me the reason for drinking but I was not bothered to reply her. I just took another peg of whisky and saw her face for the first time. She was cute but her eyes were beautiful. She poured whisky to her glass and drank without adding any ice cubes into it. She started crying but I did not speak a word nor tried to pacify her. She told that she had a breakup with her boyfriend two days back and she seemed to be very upset. I was busy with my frustration and whisky so was not in a mood to listen to her.

There was silence and nothing else between us. We both were busy listening to the music which was making us more intoxicated. I think pub owner was a very big fan of Beatles.

I completed my drink, thanked her for the company and came out of the pub. She was alone and it was late night so she requested me to accompany her to her apartment. I did not mind and started walking with her. The night was very cold and I was smoking all the way. We never spoke a word till we reached her apartment. She invited me in and I agreed without giving a second thought.

I was sitting on an easy chair surfing tv channels. She came with the night dress and stood in front of me. She was looking sexy. I lifted her to bed. I asked her " are you virgin". "yes" was the reply, she asked about me I said I am doing it for the first time.

It was around eight in the morning when door bell rang, it was an alarm for both of us. She got up and went to see who was at the door.
At the same time my mobile received a message by my ex girlfriend saying that she is a divorcee now and an explanation for dumping me.
The door bell rang again and she hurried to the door. When she opened the door her boyfriend was on his knees holding a bunch of red roses.

IS THIS HER FAULT OR MINE??? THE TEMPTER OR THE TEMPTED .... WHO SINS MOST???

Mourn Mourn Mourn....

2008-12-16T23:41:00.000-08:00

I had a weird experience few days back. I got a message to attend mourning of Sandeep Unnikrishnan. Me and my friends went to attend it and it was organised by a news channel ( I do not want to name the channel).

There were few other people from nearby hostel and a group of young girls from the nearby PG. Those girls came there as if they are attending some reception, they were wearing grand dresses and their make-up was like as they were going to sign as a heroine to the movie.

The tv people already had a concept in their mind and that was to blame politicians. There were around 50 in numbers who came to mourn to the martyr. Tv people gave candles to everyone and made us to light and we were supposed to tell our opinions about how the politicians are responsible for the attack on Taj.

The most disgusting thing was, one of the crew member from the channel disguised himself as a common man and made his first opinion, the channel crew with a reporter and a cameraman took his opinion first, he in his talk took the concept of blaming the politicians as i have mentioned above. The reporter took a point from that opinion and posed a question relating to politics to the next person, and this went on.

People who came to mourn were more excited to be in front of camera rather to mourn. There was a tough competition among the public to give their opinion about the politicians and everyone were fighting for the mike to talk, girls who came from the PG were standing like models. I think they were invited to make the picture bit beautiful.

Few people came there as they thought that there was a shooting of some movie, few of them literally did not knew who was Sandeep. Few were talking like if they would have been near the attack, they would have stopped that and fought against terrorist.

I was simply standing in the last row holding a candle and staring at those beautiful girls. I thought that the mourning ceremony will be very decent but never knew that it will be like a celebration. At one point I was feeling very bad about myself to attend such a ceremony where people were using a martyr's name to their means. I just blew the candle off and went aside to have a smoke. But my friends were still standing there.

After the opinion round, channel people made the public to place the candle on the nearby fountain, cameraman was taking shots in an artistic manner.

I bet no one of them who assembled there mourned to the martyr including myself. Public was attracted to the camera and channel people wanted to raise the TRPs of their news.

The so called mourning ceremony ended up in the way the news channel wanted, I was completely bored that day.

DREAM - Part 1.

2008-12-14T00:14:00.001-08:00

I would suggest you guys to read my article Penniless Peanuts before reading this one.

We were 4 of us but now our team has increased to 8 the other 4 are Shashi, Dhana, Naga and Sunil.

We did a short film as a pilot episode to approach channels for the slot but we failed as they need people who are experienced. Its very true that we are not experienced but for sure we are talented. To prove our potential we need opportunities. We believe in creating them rather than waiting for it or running behind it. The only hindrance for us is Time and Money.

After the failure of our short film project we decided to split up and work individually to gain experience, but for our goodness one of our friend's friend saw our short films and was very much interested to produce a movie with us.

That was the time when my dream was flourished again, I call this movie project as the DREAM Project because it is not only mine but for all the 8 peanuts.

We are working on the script and parallel we are doing the research on in and out of the industry. We are very new to the industry but that does not mean that we should be ignored.

We approached few people to take their advice and suggestions but most of them were the demotivators. The only reason was we are inexperienced.

They are right that we need experience but to gain experience we have to get into it, face the challenges and fight against the odds to fulfill our DREAM.
There is no way we lose the battle if we give our 100 percent. The only thing which is required is Trust in ourselves.

Trust of 8 guys is a tremendous positive energy which is enough to create history.

I am not bothered about the demotivators because, the producer trusts us 100 percent and that is very important for the fulfillment of the DREAM.
According to few people they need experience to succeed, according to me I need their criticism, comments, demotivation, demoralisation to succeed.
Lets see we are giving our 100 percent dedication, commitment, hardwork and everything.

Fulfilling my DREAM is my KARMA.

All our DREAMS will come true if we have the courage to pursue them.

Reaping may be slow but I have to wait if I have to achieve it. And I am ready to wait and ready to do my KARMA.

I am doing KARMA and it is pursuing my DREAM no matter what will be the result. I have already sacrificed few important things in my life and now I have just dedicated myself to my DREAM.

JEENA YAHAN MARNA YAHAN, ISKE SIVA JAANA KAHAN....

Mumbai Meri Jaan...

2008-11-28T22:05:00.000-08:00

Attack on Mumbai, Hotel Taj Mahal, Oberoi Hotel, Nariman Point, Around 150 Killed, Around 300 injured, Lost few daring officers, terrorists are teenagers, Deccan Mujahiddin, Pakistan, etc.... these are few things which is happening in Mumbai and everyone know about this very well.

I received a sms, which quotes to mourn for the people who died in these attacks, I received another sms, which was provoking to fight against the terrorism, I have deleted those sms's or else I would have quote those.

I was in Mumbai during February 2008 and visited those places where these attacks are still going on.

When I saw the television I was shocked to know about the attacks. I have really spent most memorable moments in those areas, and those moments are golden moments of my life.The Gate Way Of India, Nariman Point, Corridors of Taj, Oberoi Hotel.

Taj, Oberoi, Nariman have lost their glory and I have lost that person who made those moments really wonderful. Taj or Nariman or Oberoi cannot get its glory back as attacks have made a massive destruction for them and I cannot get that person back who is in another person's life.

Taj, Nariman, Oberoi and Myelf can remember those memorable moments only in our minds and hearts.

Now those things are just in my memories and memories cherish forever.

What A Reason - Comments I Received.

2008-11-26T21:55:00.000-08:00

The last article titled "What A Reason" took its birth from one of the incident which took place in a tea shop. That incident was very close to my life so I just wrote it. " This is the explanation I received two comments for this article by the two important people in my life.

Vinay - He is a very good friend of mine from past 18 years. He knows me very well. I would like to quote his comment.

Try enjoying the single status. Stop trying to fall in love with each and every girl you meet. Start introspecting as to why each girl you fall in love with dont try to commit themselves to you or to be part of your life. One more gyan, stop trying for girls, concentrate on your career. Ask your parents to find one for you and the rest will fall in place, you can start loving the one you marry and she will obviously be committed to you"

This was the comment I received from and I appreciate it alot because as I said he knows me very well.

Vishwas - He is also a very good friend of mine from past two years. We both are like north and south poles our thoughts are always parallel and parallel lines never meet.

This was the most funniest post you ever wrote, without ever intending it to be so! Lo hari do you really believe girls when they say, i think you are a fine guy and i'm unlucky to have you as my lover or whatever the fuck is that? In effect, they are saying, you don't deserve to be my lover or whatever it is. I think you hang on with a girl even after she has said no. If she accepts, ok fine. If she doesn't, ok fine. Why scratch your mind that much. You should really thank them for not accepting your love- they in fact did you a favour by doing so. Why do you want to FALL in love all the time. Why not rise in life once instead? There is life beyond love and all that. Stop all this butterfly and caterpillar stories and write something logical for a change

This was the comment posted my him to my article. I never thought that this article would really make this kind of impact. I would like to thank both who are very much concerned about me.

My motive has served by this article one has took very seriously and the other has said it was the most funniest article I have written.

Love is not what I have written there. Both have experienced it, but they have their on perspective on love. Ya true love is not a caterpillar or butterfly story its the story of worms, animals, human beings, all the living creatures, non living things, sun, moon, etc. Love has no end. It can be related to anything and everything.

Career is something which is dependent on ourselves but not love. Love is something like addiction everyone wants to enjoy it but few wear masks. I am happy I am not the One.

I know I will get a comment for this article or I think I wont get as I have mentioned it

What A Reason!!!

2008-11-25T23:10:00.000-08:00

I know that once in a lifetime we will come across a mesmerising feeling called Love. Some of you have already experienced it and some yet to face it. And few are just enjoying it every time, same in my case I have experienced it several times.

I have heard people saying that we enjoy true love only once in our lifetime.
Oh... I think that love itself is divine and there is no such things like false love or true love. I really wonder when people say that it was my true love. Come On Guys!!! Are we playing true or false game.

I believe in one thing "Nothing is good or bad in this world but thinking makes it so."
Thank god!!!! I am lucky, every time I fall in love is the true love, but for me I am in love again and every time I was 100% sincere committed and loyal. I do not bother about true or false game.

I think you guys are wondering, why am I talking all these things? and how are they related to the topic?
Well!!! You will come to know about this as you go on reading this article.

I have experienced the world of love several times in my life and most of the times I was heartbroken :-(.

I proposed every girl whom I loved but most of the times got rejected and you know what was the reason???

"OH... SORRY HARI I CANNOT COMMIT MYSELF TO YOU, YOU ARE SUCH A NICE GUY, I AM NOT SO LUCKY TO MARRY YOU"

Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!! Can anyone just explain me what sort of a reason is this? I don't know I was blank all the time.

I am still not able to digest one thing, if I am a nice guy, then why was I rejected. Anyways I did not allow my mind to think about this too much. But sometimes i really thought that is there anything like true love or I might have not loved her truly!!! Obviously this question aroused in my mind when I was rejected, I know it is superstitious but its usual, we think all the possibilities when we fail, even though its silly.

I am very happy because if I would have succeeded then I could never experienced the love several times. So no hard feelings girls, Thank you for rejecting my love and making me to love more more and more.

Enjoy the wrong ones till you find the right one ;-)

JUST WHEN THE CATERPILLER THOUGHT THE WORLD WAS OVER IT BECAME A BUTTERFLY.

Give A Thought

2008-10-21T00:03:00.000-07:00

I was coming by bus to Rangayana. I was thinking to write to write an article. I saw a 76 years old man who was travelling along with me. He was talking to himself very loudly. I felt very unusual about him. He was well educated and he was speaking English in British accent. I came to know that he was an actor and a freedom fighter. He was talking about movies and freedom struggle. No one was interested in his talks but my ears caught attention when he spoke about freedom. That was the moment I decided that I will write about Independent India in my article.

As we all know Independence Day is celebrated on August 15th. Are we really independent? ya may be, but for the namesake. If the question is somewhat like this, Are we free from slavery? Are we free from foreign rule. Then the answer will be yes, but even this is for the namesake. We are still dependent on other countries for many things we are not independent country we are trying to be independent country. There is a lot of difference between freedom and independence.

India is a democratic country, of the people, by the people and for the people. Still we are slaves under corrupt politicians and bureaucracy. Common man or middle class man is not at all bothered about his country, for him its just a living place. We talk about politics, religion, social upliftment and other service motto topics only when there is any get-together or parties.

Youth are busy finding their own destiny without any clue about India's destiny. Only few are really working towards India's future. You can call it as patriotism or service motto without any expectations but believing in revolution and renaissance.

I was shocked when I heard and saw few instances like in some private schools and colleges Independence day was celebrated on 14th of August and on 15th it was declared as holiday. We should not forget that Pakistan celebrates its Independence day on 14th of August. Are they celebrating Pakistan's Independence day by hoisting Indian flag? Few educational institutions who are responsible to educate pupils about our country doing this shameless job. I am really very proud to know that in government schools Independence day is celebrated on 15th of August. That is really fantastic job. Government schools may lack in providing the proper academic education but they are really doing a great job by filling proper information and education into the minds of budding futures of India. I think Indian history should be the major aspect in our education system. We really lack knowledge about it. Rather than working for the the future of India, at least we can gain knowledge about Indian history and respect it.

These days Independence day has become another national holiday, but few of my friends who work in BPO's and other outsourcing companies work on Independence day, and they have holiday for America's Independence day. Even though its seems funny. If you think consciously they are doing a very good job. They are working on a national holiday that too on Independence day and serving Indian economy. Where most of the people enjoy or waste time sitting in front of television watching patriotic movies and enjoying snacks. We celebrate Ganesha festival throughout India and other regional festivals and other regional socio-political festivals like Kannada Rajyotsava in Karnataka. I am not against them nor against their respect and concern towards it. This is where the regional criticism occurs. Rather than bifurcating regionally or religiously we can be unite and work towards the future of India.

We are least bothered to celebrate Indian Independence day, we are so busy on the Independence day or Republic day that we don't have time to stand for our national anthem and respect it for at least 52 seconds. "Unity in Diversity" is lost long ago. Now the saying should be. "No Unity Only Diversity" Alas this is India, and what will be the future of India?

There are many issues for the lack of development of India and I am not here to enhance or emphasize it, When root itself is corrupt then we cannot expect the tree to be strong.

An Embarrassing Story

2008-10-19T08:03:00.000-07:00

My mother showed me a marriage invitation of a known far relatives' who is also a friend of mine and asked me to attend. His name is Mahendra but his face was erased from my memories. I was very much curious to know who that guy was.

Usually I don't attend any marriages (relatives unless they are very close to me), and finally I decided to attend the marriage to recollect my memories. I had a very vague idea about Mahendra's family. He is a close relative of my cousin who is very more close to me.

I went to marriage which was on 19th October 2008, and once I saw him, my curiosity was ended there. Actually, I had met him in one of my cousin's marriage 6 years ago.

I went to the stage to greet him. I was posing for a snap, then suddenly my eyes caught interest on a beautiful face. In fact, I know her, I had met her in the same marriage where I got to know Mahendra 6 years ago. I gave a smile as soon as our eyes caught for a fraction of a second but I think she didn't notice me at first instance.

I went to have my lunch but she was in my mind all the time. I went to flashback immediately. My mind sat in a time machine and switched the rewind button of my life.

I do not remember the exact date or month but I am sure it was in 2002. I was doing my first year degree.

I had been to my cousin's marriage, usually we celebrate our marriage ceremony for three days first day is varapooje, second day is dhaare and the third day is sathyanarayana pooja. I think I am going out of the story, fine I will come back to the main story.

I went to marriage on the first day (6 years ago). I saw a girl who was very cute. She made friendship with my sister and got introduced herself to me through my sister. Actually, I know that I am not that attractive by nature but I do not know what made her to get attracted to me, I think that's my attitude. I had long hairs, I was fond of wearing T-shirts, jeans and I had a pointed zip shoes which is called as hunters, my usual dress code was like that. She used to tell me that I am her Hrithik Roshan, please do not laugh on this as it was very much true for her.

We spoke for a long time that evening, gossiped for hours, had food together and she was not at all ready to leave me. I had a very fair idea that she was very much interested in me but did not speak about this. Next day, I went to the marriage and she proposed me, which was not much shocking as it was understood. I was thinking whether to accept it or not as I was single at that time [even now ;-) ] but took some time to think.

A guy came to me and spoke to me. He told me that he had a crush on her and was thinking of having a serious relationship with her but she was more interested in me. When I came to know this, I felt pity for him as he was a very nice guy so I decided not to accept her proposal for him and started ignoring her. She was very adamant and was not ready to give up at any cost. I do not know what made her to do so as we were knowing each other only for few hours. I think her problem was her age as she was in her teens which made her to behave like that. But I was very firm in my decision and I did not accept her proposal, I felt very bad as I broke her heart but I was helpless as I had to sacrifice her for him. She cried a lot but I was firm on my decision. When that guy came to know about this, he told me to accept her proposal as he wanted her to be happy and he was ready to give her up for me. That situation moved me a lot and made me more strong to stand firm on my decision. Everything ended up in an abrupt manner as she left to her place on the third day of the marriage. But she was very much disappointed and I think she was very much angry on me. As the time passed by my memory lost its data about this story, so I will come back to my main story.

By that time I finished my lunch, my mind again took a ride to the present. I just turned back and saw that she was sitting behind me for lunch.

I decided that I will talk to her, so I was waiting for her to finish her lunch. Usually in every marriage ceremonies, I just go there to have food and move on but since I was attracted to her and was very much keen to talk to her, I was thinking about staying back for some more time passing time talking to my mother till I get a right time to meet her and my mother was very much suspicious about as to why I am staying back for such long time but I made some excuses to stay back lying to her that I had to pick a friend and was waiting for his call.

Finally, she came after her lunch. I saw her and smiled at her with lots of enthusiasm but she ignored me. I was about to approach her but met the same guy who was in love with her from past 6 years and I was shocked to know that he still loves her. I got a call so I just took a leave from him and came out to attend it. At that time, she came out to wave her relatives who were leaving. Seeing her coming out, I was so excited that I held the call to say HI as she came walking towards me, we were like face to face, I called her by her name but to my shock she didn't respond, she just passed me without even looking at me, I tried once again calling her, in fact, I called her with loud voice but still no response. Everybody around me was staring at me, but she walked out as if she did not hear anything. I was very much embarrassed and totally dumbstruck by her behavior, Man that moment was horrible. I do not know what made her ignore me. I think I got what I did to her 6 years back, but I know my reason to ignore her was genuine.

I cannot digest when someone ignores me that too when its a girl and in public, God damn!!! it was a horrible situation. I went back inside, took leave from my parents and left the place. Outside when I was starting my bike, she was standing near the gate and was staring at me, but I just ignored her and went away without noticing her.

I do not know what made her to behave like that but one thing is for sure that this situation will haunt me for sometimes. I went to a tea stall to calm myself. Within no time my embarrassment was in the air in the form of smoke and my frustration was cooled with a chilled soft drink.

Solar Eclipse

2008-08-02T22:55:00.000-07:00

One of my memorable day in my Life. It was a Solar Eclipse on that day. Solar Eclipse means Moon comes in between the Sun and the Earth. In India it was partial and in Mysore it was about 20%.
According to astrology, Solar Eclipse has its affect on all the living beings. During the occurrence people who believe it take all the precautionary measures. One should not eat, sleep or not even drink water during the time of eclipse. One should not roam but stay at home, etc. these are the few beliefs which I know.

Every time Solar Eclipse affects some particular birth stars and zodiac signs. This time it affected my birth sign i.e. Pushya and me being very lucky for my zodiac sign i.e. cancer. For this reason I was house arrested on that day and had to take few precautionary measures.

I was born in a middle class Brahmin family where my parents are orthodox and strong believers of God. Voice of my mother enchanting mantras, ringing bells and aroma of agarbattis are my usual alarms in the morning.
To avoid the affects I had to follow some rituals. My mother has a strong faith in all these things and I have an eternal faith in my mother's faith. I usually don't bother about these things but for my mother's sake and for her faith I followed all the rituals she told.

Let me come to the main story. I was up early in the morning did my routine, took a bath and I was in the pooja room enchanting mantras and worshipping God for about 45 minutes. I had my breakfast at 11 am. I had some work in the Internet so somehow I convinced my mother and went to browse. I was happily browsing when suddenly my mobile rang, I knew it was my worried mother. I answered it and within no time I was back home.

I had few fruits and spent time till 4 pm chatting with my family and watching television. My father told me to write a mantra which was in our holy calendar i.e. Panchaanga and to recite it 108 times during the occurrence of Solar Eclipse. This was very important to avoid the affects of eclipse.

Exactly at 4 pm television was switched off. Everyone were silent and were just reciting mantras. Even I was silent doing nothing. My dad reminded me to recite that mantra. Believe it or not I recited it 108 times. My parents and my sister everyone watched the Solar Eclipse but I was not allowed to watch or not even to step out of the house because of its affects. Alas I missed the historic event. In India Total Solar Eclipse will occur after 165 years it seems. I decided myself, one day I will visit the place where I can watch the Total Solar Eclipse and enjoy the historic event.

After the eclipse I went to take bath and again I was in pooja room enchanting mantras. I went to temple as my mother ordered me to do so. I did some rituals there and then I rode to my care of address i.e. Rangayana. The climate was very romantic and the city was covered with light mist. Rangayana was looking like western ghats as it lies beside the Kukkarahalli Lake.
I was alone there for some time enjoying the climate. Vinay came to Rangayana and we decided to watch a movie called Kuchelan starring SuperStar Rajanikanth. Movie was good. I came home late as it was a night show, had my dinner and slept.
This was the story of mine with Solar Eclipse.

I am very thankful to Solar Eclipse because I learned to have faith in my mother's faith and above all I spent real good time with my family after many days which was more valuable than watching a Solar Eclipse. I think faith makes man strong and to achieve what he believes.

Astrology says that Solar Eclipse has affected my birth star and zodiac sign.
I have a strong faith that it has not affected me but has effected me in someways. There is some change in me. Yet to find what it is? but surely will find it very soon.

Where Am I Heading?

2008-07-27T22:43:00.000-07:00

I Always Wonder...
Am I A Stranger...
Think This World As A Blunder...

I really don't know why did I start this blog? I question myself if there is any purpose or motive behind this thought? but I don't get any answer for this.

I just use this to express my thoughts. I usually express my thoughts through Kannada Poems and Short Stories or through Urdu Shayaris, but now I have got another medium i.e. Blog, where my articles are assessed. To be honest, I started this blog with an uncertainty because of my vocabulary and grammar, they were acting like my hindrance. I motivated myself that creativity has no hindrance or barriers, then I decided to come up with this blog. I believe in learning from my own mistakes, so I know this blog will definitely help me. But where am I heading.....? through this blog, it still remains a mystery in my mind.

Now let me come to the topic and let me come to my own life. I have read hell like articles on life but this article is unique as it deals with me. I never read but felt in my 26 years of journey through life.

My friend Vinay was talking about the uncertainty of life, that was the moment when I decided that I will write about this as it was a thought which was bothering me.

I think the journey of my life started from the womb and I know it will end up in ashes so I wont bother about start and end, but the real mystery is the journey between them.

I don't know where this journey is leading me and I don't know why am I so proud to be born as a human.
I don't know where my life is leading me and I don't know why am I striving to find all the comforts.
I am just following a light of hope which is deliberately pushing me to the grave. Even though I know the end point and even though I know I will make it, then Why am I so passionate about the journey? Is it really worth being that? The first thing which was decided on the day I was born was my death. My countdown has started and I am just running my league.

I get disturbed when I see few people who have dedicated their life to God. I don't believe on the things which I see but these people have strong faith on an unseen God. Wow that is really fantastic. What made them to take such a decision? What are they searching for? Where are they heading? my mind becomes inquisitive.

What made Buddha to leave all his comforts and worldly pleasures and go in search of life. I was really stunned when I read about Bahubali, what made him to sacrifice everything and become Gomateshwara. What made him to stand naked. Was it a same question which is bothering me? If so, then I am sorry I don't have that guts to sacrifice everything and stand naked. But still the question haunts me everytime.

Emotions, feelings, bonds, relations, materials, everything, do they have their own roles to be played in my journey to ashes. I don't know but I need everything. I cant be Buddha or Gomateshwara because I am so much into this worldly things that I cannot escape from the clutches of life.

Life is full of uncertainty but even then I plan to lead my life in my own way, even though I don't know what will happen in the next moment. Is it really worth to plan? but I do it with the hope, faith and expectations.

Now this life has given a meaning to me to prove what I am? in my own ways. I need all the comforts. I enjoy relationships. I am possessive even though I know that I will not be bonded to it till the eternity. But still I live.

As I know the end point let me make my journey worth so that I can celebrate my last. I have made up my mind that I have born to serve some purpose and the purpose will be created through different circumstances of life. I am just playing my part.
I have convinced myself that not to be bothered about life and about its uncertainty. Life has its own role and I have my own.

Death is my Destination...
Life is just a Journey...
But even then sometimes I still wonder...... Where Am I Heading?

Penniless Peanuts...

2008-07-21T22:31:00.000-07:00

"Yeh Duniya Kya Chahyiye Money Money...."

I was working in Bangalore before coming down to Mysore to start our own company called GangwayZ Media house.

Me, Isla, Habeeb and Ashwin are into the serious business of Media. Isla has done his Masters in Media Production from Sunderland. He has taken student loan from bank and this is the high time for him to repay. Habeeb has done his Masters in Communication and Journalism, he is married and now owns his family's responsibility on his shoulders. Ashwin has done his MBA and now with us. Uska tho haal bahut hi bhayaanak hai... Reheneko ghar nahin, sone ko bistar nahin... his parents are in bangalore, but he has comedown to Mysore to strive with us and he lives with Isla in his house. Now about me, Dhobi ka kutta na ghar na ghat ka...

Each one of us have our own commitments and responsibilities but we have joined our hands together to achieve, to fly high. Everyone are from middle class family and we were born without any spoon in our mouth. Everyone are so bankrupt at this stage of life that its horrible even to imagine.

Each one of us have our own potential and have our own options where we can excel in our respective profession, but we have joined our hands together to give life to our common "Dream" i.e GangwayZ Media House.

We have done a documentary for Rangayana of the summer camp, Chinnara Mela 2008, Now we are trying with our own new ideas which will be implemented soon.

We have sown the seeds of hard work, commitment and dedication. It will take time to reap and then we can taste the sweet fruits of what we have sown. But till then we should wait patiently as they say there is no shortcut for success.

We may be Penniless Peanuts today but we all know we will be Plentiful in future.

I am writing this write-up because in future when we are in sheer success, we should not forget the path of life where we started to give life to our Dream. Whenever I read this, it will be a motivation for me to fly high no matter what hurdles I face in my life.

Never Despair But Press On.

May All Our Dreams And Wishes Come True.

Mime Begins Where Words End

2008-07-14T03:30:00.001-07:00

Mime is one of the oldest forms of World Theater. The dramatic and exaggerated art of representing the day to day activities of a man, through expressing them with body and facial movements is called Mime. It is similar to the dialogue dramas but in Mime, a story is narrated through body movements and facial expressions.

I have studied many articles on Mime but still I am not sure about the origin or evolution of Mime. I think it might have evolved from the time when Man began to communicate. Its obvious that he was not knowing any language but had to communicate with body movements and facial expressions. As the time passed he started to use sign boards which led to the origin of Painting, drawing etc. History says that the Mime started in Rome. When a playwright did not had any words to fill the character he used to fill them with the body movements and expressions. You don't find any exact proof which proves the origin or evolution of Mime. It is still a myth.

Let me share my experience with Mime. I am an amateur theater artist. I am practicing Mime from past 6 years. Our troupe is known as G.P.I.E.R. Theater Group, and Mr Mime Ramesh is a Director of our Amateur troupe. He is an actor in Rangayana Myosre, and because of his excellence in Mime, he got the prefix Mime for his name. Now Mime goes along with him with his name.

Gesture, Posture, Imagination, Expression and Rhythm are the 5 basic elements essential to perform Mime. I have done hundreds of Mime shows till date. Mime is performed for 5 to 10 minutes as it requires high energy and stamina. But our troupe has the credit of performing Mime for more than 100 minutes non-stop that too for 7 times and I have the credit of performing 3 times out of 7 major Mime shows. In my last Mime show i was on stage for about 90 minutes which is very hard, I was totally exhausted after the show. I was honoured when our troupe was invited to perform Mime for the occasion of 50th anniversary of UGC.

Our troupe is the only one of its kind in Mysore and may be in Karnataka which is still active in Mime. Mime requires high energy, immense stamina and body flexibility. It requires too much of practice for the sake of synchronisation. Background music plays a very major role in Mime. It emphasises the mood of the story. Music acts as a narration and we act according to it.

Mime is a wonderful theater art medium which is now in danger, not many are aware of this fantastic medium. My intention of writing this article is to brief about Mime and about our troupe. As there is a saying "Action Speaks Louder Than Words.

My First WriteUp

2008-07-12T02:49:00.000-07:00

Hi this is my first write up and of course my first blog. I really wonder sometimes earlier our identity meant ration cards, driving license, passbooks etc., but nowadays, Internet identity has become very important. I was never bothered about Internet and other related stuffs, but one of my friends Vishwas explained me that how important the Internet is, and especially the blog, for a media person. Let me give a small introduction of myself:

I am Hariprasad Kashyap. Me and my friends are planning to start up a media company in Mysore. Basically, I am from theater background, and our team is well versed with the requirements of a media company, so we thought and thought and finally came to a decision that instead of working for someone , why cant we work for ourselves. In fact, i think its very true, when we get the feeling of belongingness, then only we tend to work towards it without any expectations. For me, passion has become my profession. I believe in a line written by not so famous yet but Mr Hariprasad Kashyap says, "Stars are many but not the Sun." Even though Sun is a star, we consider him as God, source of light, energy etc. I believe same with the human beings. Unless and Until we stand apart from the crowd, we will get lost in it. So i think its high time for me to move forward and just continue to move forward.

Log har manzil ko mushkil samajte hain.
Hum har mushkil ko manzil samajte hain.
Bada farakh hai log aur hamare nazariye mein.
Hum har chattan ko apni pairon ki dhool samajte hain....